Russkie dyke duo's drug-crazed manager raped Rockall Times reporter at gunpoint. ("Rockall Times" - UK)

Time of publication: 10.05.2003

[WARNING: GOSSIP! 100% NOT TRUE]

Tatu popsters laughed and engaged in sex acts during violent assault.

by Lester Haines

The pop mastermind behind lesbian duo Tatu launched a brutal sex attack on a female Rockall Times reporter — as singers Yulia Volkova and Lena Katina looked on LAUGHING while performing sex acts on each other.

Anna Perrier, just 4ft 2ins and six stone, had been invited to a party at the band's London Hotel. While there, she hoped to gain an insight into the music phenomenon which has swept all before it like a muff-diving whirlwind. Instead, manager Ivan Shapovalov:

- Ripped her CLOTHES from her trembling BODY no sooner had she stepped through the DOOR
- Pulled a PISTOL on the simpering HACKETTE
- Advanced on her with his hideously empurpled MEMBER
- Repeatedly raped Anna while indulging in a cocktail of HARD DRUGS
- Incredibly, the two Tatu singers made no attempt to intervene, but rather LAUGHED at our reporter's screams for help, while indulging in mutual masturbation so FRENZIED that details cannot be reported in a family newspaper.

A sobbing Anna told our boggled-eyed entertainments editor: "I'd only just gone through the door when Shapovalov pounced. He ripped off my 'Popbitch' crop-top and just got straight to work on my breasts. When I asked him if whether we could do the exclusive interview first, he just tore off my knickers and started banging away at my box while holding a gun to my head. I couldn't believe that Yulia and Lena did nothing to intervene. Instead, they started working on each other with an enormous Russian doll in the likeness of Boris Yeltsin while smoking crack cocaine."

Anna's terrifying ordeal lasted more than eleven minutes during which time Shapovalov was able to violate our reporter a further FOUR times between bouts of injecting heroin and swigging vodka from the bottle.

Anna continues her story: "I remember when it was all over, just sitting there dazed and shocked. I know I should have gone straight to the police, but I'm a journalist and I was there to find out what these people are really like.

"Now I know, and while reporting Shapovalov to the police would have resulted in a lengthy investigation, I am sure that by immediately publishing this account of my rape nightmare I can ensure that other innocent women to not fall foul of this sick Russkie pervert. Indeed, I can see no other way to serve the public interest than to give readers the full account without involving the authorities in any way."

Our legal editor has tonight confirmed that Anna acted correctly in rushing straight to her editor with the shocking news of her ordeal. "It's always best at times like these to go straight to the people who can give you the help and support you need," he noted. "The police are ill-equipped to deal with attacks by the managers of lesbian pop duos."

We spoke to Lena Katina this morning but she denied any knowledge of the incident. "Nyet," she babbled. "I was high on dope at the time and was unsighted due to, how you say, drinking from furry cup."

We have not made our dossier available to the authorities.

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