Eurovision needs top pop ("The Sun" - UK)Time of publication: 26.05.2003 |
By Bizarre's DEREK BROWN
ASK me what I think of Eurovision and I’ll give you the same answer as most self-respecting music fans in this country – a load of twaddle.
Let’s face it, it’s a glorified karaoke show and a chance for countries like Turkey, Norway and Estonia to believe for a second they actually make good pop music.
Gemini, sorry Jemini, typify how much of a joke we in Britain regard the whole thing.
Their boss blaming Britain’s role in the war on Iraq for our drubbing is one of the worst excuses I’ve ever heard.
Even worse than “the dog ate my homework”.
The fact is we put up a cheesy Butlins-style act. Jemini couldn’t dance and — more importantly — couldn’t sing.
The irony is they will now probably enjoy a success as a novelty act thanks to their humiliating performance.
But those of us who care are feeling disgusted at being trounced in a contest that is belittled so much.
More so that we, the country that prides itself on inventing the pop record, gets a good pasting from a bloke called Alf from Austria.
Some of you may find Jemini’s nul points amusing but how would you feel if we got hammered at, say, football by the likes of Cyprus, Malta and Latvia?
Surely it’s time to wheel out the big guns. Under Eurovision rules the song has to be an original composition and anyone can perform it.
So why can’t we convince someone like Robbie Williams to get up there and play for his country?
Even better, let’s call upon our stable of songwriting geniuses such as Elton John, Paul McCartney, Guy Chambers or Cathy Dennis to write a number.
Of course, like the rest of us, Robbie thinks Eurovision is a joke fought out between dodgy looking women, big-bosomed tarts and blokes in lederhosen.
But if Sven Goran Eriksson called Robbie at his Los Angeles pad and asked him to pull on the shirt for England he would be on a plane faster than you could say Take That.
No points ... Jemini
It’s everyone’s dream to represent their country and beat the rest of the world at doing something.
It doesn’t matter if you’re from Armagh, Aberdeen, Aberyswyth or Accrington, there’s no greater fantasy than winning a contest for your country.
Russian duo Tatu are one of the biggest-selling acts on the planet.
They had no need to try to win Eurovision for Russia yet they came third.
Before the show Tatu’s Yulia Volkova said: “Our talents are performing and singing and it is our duty to use those talents to do our best for Russia and the Russian people.
“They deserve it more than anyone else.”
That’s precisely what national pride is all about.
Whatever Britain competes in — even down to tiddlywinks — we have to put our best players forward who will do their very best to win.
This country should be proud of its music. For all our chart rubbish we’ve still got excellent pop acts like Robbie, Will Young, Sophie Ellis Bextor and Ms Dynamite.
Next year let’s walk away with the trophy and show the rest of the Eurotrash when it comes to pop we’re top.
Terry Wogan has admitted he gets blotto when he presents the show.
So let’s give Tel and the rest of us a good reason to have a skinful.
Thanks to spyretto. |
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